I found this on the web a couple of years ago, and I can’t remember where from. I posted it on my old blog, which has also since been deleted, so I figured that I would repost it for all to see… how true it is…

• If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
• When you don’t know what you’re doing, do it neatly.
• Experiments must be reproducible, they should fail the same way each time.
• First draw your curves, then plot your data.
• Always keep a record of your data. It indicates that you have been working.
• To do a lab really well, have your report done well in advance.
• If you can’t get the answer in the usual manner, start at the answer and derive the question.
• In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
• Do not believe in miracles – rely on them.
• Team work is essential, it allows you to blame someone else.
• All unmarked beakers contain fast-acting, extremely toxic poisons.
• No experiment is a complete failure. At least it can serve as a negative example.
• Any delicate and expensive piece of glassware will break before any use can be made of it.